The Date Debate
“So there’s this girl…”
How many of you remember the last conversation you had that started with these words (or similar words ladies)?
Our culture revolves around the concept of love, romance and relationships. It’s the most common theme in our songs, books, movies, and TV shows.
Although most everyone can agree that love and romance are good things, those of you still in your teenage years have a challenging question to ask yourselves…
With all the drama, insecurity, emotional wounds, gossip, jealousy, broken commitments, broken friendships, and sexual sin that high school relationships have a tendency to bring about, how do we know if we’re mature enough to handle such a responsibility?
Going deeper, if these relationships cause us to devote more time and energy to our relationship with our boy/girlfriend than with God, is it even okay for Christians to date in high school?
Let’s take a look at both sides of this debate…
The Case For Dating
You walk up to a girl at youth group and ask her, “Do you think it’s wrong to date in high school?”
She looks at you like you just invited her over to your house to see your collection of toenail clippings.
“Of course not!” She replies, “Where’d you get that ridiculous idea?” You open your mouth to answer but she’s not finished, “I happen to have conveniently prepared a four point presentation on why it is beneficial to date in high school…”
“Practice Makes Perfect…”
Anything worth being good at requires practice, and that includes relationships. What better time to learn about these things than during your years at school?
“They Could Be The One!”
Why do people always assume that young couples won’t make it? You’ll never find your soul mate if you don’t put yourself out there.
“S/he’s My Best Friend!”
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the concept of having a best friend of the opposite gender. It would only be natural for you to devote your time and attention to your closest friend.
“Why Not?”
There’s nothing wrong with dating; it’s not a sin or anything. Every person longs for companionship with that special someone, so why should we be forced to hold back our feelings? All of my friends are in relationships; I need to show them that I’m good enough to be wanted. Anything is better than being alone.
The Case For Waiting
Although many people agree with the persuasive presentation above, there is an equally legitimate case for not dating through the teenage years. Why would anyone want to do that, you ask? Keep reading and judge for yourself!
“Do Not Make For Yourselves an Idol!”
Often guys and girls shove God off to the side in exchange for each other’s company. This is a form of idolatry; devoting our time and attention to something as if it were more important than God.
“Don’t Practice for Divorce!”
Seeing as most high school relationships end in breakup, it would seem that you only get experience in failed romance. Is this the kind of baggage you want to take into your marriage?
“Avoid The Drama And Heartache”
Unfortunately, in our teenage years we’re trained to believe that our individual value hinges on our ability to attract the opposite sex. When relationships are formed on this principle, you have two people who are depending on each other to make them feel valuable; it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
“Embrace Your Freedom!”
This is a critical time in your life, and you have so many opportunities to build lasting friendships during high school. If you attach yourself to a boy/girlfriend, you may forfeit your chance to build several other strong, godly friendships.
So What’s The Verdict?
This is a deep topic; relationships open a door for us to either bring another person closer to God, or push them further away from Him. However, when we look in the Bible to guide us, there seems to be very little instruction on the subject of dating. Fortunately, God gives us wisdom to be able to look at situations and make a decision that honors Him.
I personally believe that the benefits of not dating during your teen years GREATLY outweigh anything that dating can offer during this time. Whether you agree or not, I encourage you to ask yourself this question:
Are you honoring God with your relationships?
I invite you to share your thoughts and comments below
